My Response To Tackling The Love Problem

I had scheduled to continue the series on gospel partnerships, but Alan Knox grabbed my attention with this blog concerning Tackling The Love Problem.

Such was my interest that in beginning to answer his questions, it morphed into this. So the gospel partnerships series will continue after this brief interval.

What is interesting about Alan’s post, is that one of my favourites, Randi-Jo posted about the issue on Saturday, Alan posted about the issue on today, and I had scheduled to post on the issue (in a roundabout way) for Wednesday (which will now be Thursday).  All without knowing of the others’ intentions.  I could almost believe God had this scheduled all along.

In any case, there were a number of questions Alan asked on the blog that I felt compelled to reply and such was the length of my reply that it just made sense to post a blog in response.  So if even this blog entry is a bit long, it’s because I got excited answering the questions!

Do you think we have a love problem?

For me that’s not even a ‘think’ issue. That’s a ‘know’ issue.  Yet I think that’s part of the growth in knowing Jesus Christ.  I believe that’s part of being conformed into image.  I think that’s the reason why we have the NT as we do, because coming into Christ the challenge now is to stay and grow in Christ which is implicitly about knowing and growing in love.

It’s interesting, though, that someone mentioned too much about the head and not about the heart.  Almost leads you to think that love is an issue of the heart.  Yet I get the impression loving God and others is a holistic exercise.  I’m not even convinced all the theorising and academical pursuit has been a rigorous love of God with the mind because it hasn’t borne fruit reflecting it.  (Huge generalisation, I know.)  My point is, if the mind delights in something, expresses its love for God or others, that steers the will and behaviour towards activities and behaviours that bear out what the mind’s been all about.

At present it appears more of a tickling the brain and ticking boxes exercise when it comes to the mind’s part in loving God.

A similar critique however can be applied to the heart – it’s motives are not always in line with the loving feeling of the Father.  They are sometimes just as futile and self-centred.

Why do you think love has taken second place among Christians?

It’s easy to lose sight of love because of the other compelling pursuits we bring into church.  Pursuit of glory, pursuit of self-sufficiency, pursuit of pride, pursuit of worldly ambition masquerading as godly ambition.  In church circles that expresses itself through so many ways – doctrinal purity (actually legalism), membership number rises (actually not bothered about depth, but glorying over success in numbers), moral purity (actually self-righteousness).  There is a ream of other issues.

Some are obvious, some are subtle, all of them drive a wedge, build a barrier between us and our true selves, us and God, and obviously us and each other.

Sometimes we mask that under declarations of making a stand for godliness, holiness and righteousness, when in actuality it does not portray those qualities at all.  Particularly evident in the lack of grace and compassion in how we relate to each other about it.

In fact relegating love to anything less than its deserved position in first place is nothing less than idolatry. After all God is love.  Knowing God is to know love.  Knowing God is to live love.  Everything else is birthed from that.

As I mentioned in a recent post, this is a maturity issue, and sometimes we’re so happy playing with the toys that are God’s blessings, that we don’t look to grow up to be the sons and daughters He desires.

What’s the answer to the problem?

So I have a love problem, and so do you.  Together we have a love problem and as we meet and get to know each other, through the Spirit the life of Christ in us helps us to solve the love problem.  That’s about a range of relationships some passing, some intimate, all of which contribute to living a life less self-focussed, and more Christ-centred and so more outward-upward-loving as a result.

The solution is about living out the truths we see in the Word, by the Spirit. Living that out is intentionally relational ever seeking deeper relations to uncover and express deeper realities of Christ.

The difficulty with the solution, however, is that it does call for greater degrees of transparency and vulnerability as we learn to give up our right to control our public façades and rather allow Christ to express Himself in who we really are, which means warts and all.  Which doesn’t negate formality, but it does say that the formality has to fit the function of greater revelation of Christ producing greater love in our hearts for God, each other, our neighbourhood, our enemies and our world.

Do you think our lack of love is an indicator that the church has been stressing knowing about God instead of knowing God?

I think the lack of love is an indicator of missing God.

Not that different to Jesus’ charge against the scholars that they search the scripture not understanding that it points directly to Him.  As in they miss the point.

The way we organise ourselves, our lives, our doctrinal pursuits, the state of relationships are all indicators that at some basic level we’re missing the point. We sing love songs til we’re blue in the face.  We rev up a feelgood atmosphere calling it praise.  We get a dynamic speaker.  We do the Holy Ghost hokey-cokey.  We turn around.  With little in the way of actual change, because we’re missing the point.

Funnily enough 1 Corinthians 13 probably highlights what we actually do – we talk with tongues of men and angels, we prophecy (and blog about it) with such eloquence, we do outstanding works for Jesus, we do all of that – without love.  We do it.

We do it because we miss the point.  That’s why He’ll turn to some of us and say “depart from me you worker of iniquity, I never knew you’.

What would look different if we stressed knowing God?

Thankfully, God is still real.  The Holy Spirit still points to the truth, and slowly but surely we grow out of the childish phase of chasing god-thrills and the like.  We grow up.  (I speak by faith – especially for me!)  We mature, life’s issues cause us to rely on who God is all the more.  Jesus becomes more than a list of words to recite.

That in itself draws us closer to each other – maybe husband and wife getting closer at first.  Then the church family draws closer to each other.

It’s not just about formal meetings on a set day at a set time in a set way.  It’s all of life.

It’s sharing those painful hospital visits when you see your sister suffering her final hours.  It’s mourning with each other.  It’s celebrating the birth of a brand new daughter and sharing in that in a deeper more intimate way that impresses onlookers at the reality of the love of God in action.

It’s taking the responsibility seriously to exercise whatever God’s given the individual for the benefit of the whole.  It’s being excited at meeting each other to share what God has and growing as a result of that.  It’s a community of people being made whole in all of life supporting the weaker and valuing everyone.

Sometimes I write like that and appreciate that some people must think I’m talking about a Utopia.  My own background would definitely suggest that there’s a great gap between these words and the reality we face, and perhaps like John Lennon I’m just imagining it.

Thankfully I know through those little experiences on the way, that I get glimpses of the love-life that the whole Bible paints.  I get hints.  I see things.  I get a snapshot of it in action.  It is not perfect – but it is an indicator in that direction.  I see it even in the most unexpected places from the most unexpected people.

It’s that and appreciating the broader scope of faith in all of life, that allows me to hope in Jesus working in our lives to realise that vision of His Body, Bride and Beloved He is preparing.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden