ADBC: 14 – Law, Love and Liverpool

This is another entry in the ongoing blog conversation with the better brother of our sisters, David. Here’s the premise.

Previously in the conversation: What it is with David, you see, is that he knows that not everything is straightforward. There are a number of things in life that are complex and require wholesale changes that not everyone is up for. Knowing that, however, doesn’t stop David from calling it out for what it is. That’s what makes what he has to say about the criminal justice system, the pharmaceutical industry as well as the purpose of human life riveting and worth the reading. Check it out by clicking this bit and then appreciate for yourself what makes for such good reading.

Good conversations are based on the level of interaction and exchange and David rises up to the standard of great conversation as much for the questions he asks as the answers he gives. Here are my responses to his questions on this occasion:

Q – You’re a father of daughters. You’re a male and they are females. Are there challenges that come from the difference in gender when it comes to raising them? If so, how do you navigate those challenges?

It seems like a somewhat controversial statement to make these days, but men and women are different. Males and females are different in biological ways for sure. There’s so much to learn and understand in the differences between the two. And that’s just on the large scale, that’s not beginning to consider the unique different constructions of each individual male and female. So the way to treat a female isn’t necessarily the best way to treat all females.

When it comes to raising my daughters the challenge when it comes to the gender difference is appreciating their growth and development will necessarily be different to my own. Their way of seeing the world will necessarily be different to my own. Their needs will be different and meeting those needs requires a great deal of sensitivity and understanding. Navigating those challenges has required a great deal of humility and patience on my part. The humility comes in when recognising that I don’t know women, I don’t know females and I certainly don’t know these three girls God has seen fit to bless me with. Starting from that point helps me to be open to learning, understanding and applying wisdom in engaging with them. Engaging with them individually on their own merits as a blessing from the Lord in the human form and then working that out in how He has specifically designed them.

I learn from instructions in God’s Word. I learn from my daughters as we converse and interact. I learn from my wife who at times might be able to relate better to them on key points of their physical, mental and emotional development. I learn from other fathers of daughters – chiefly the way our Dad dealt with our sister. I look to learn from my mistakes.

Being a parent is not a position of static omniscient authority. It’s a responsibility that changes as your children change and the consistency and constancy that I endeavour to present to my daughters is a presence and availability to still relate and engage with them as they change with the desire that they grow to be great models of womanhood. Where that part is concerned they are abundantly blessed with a lot of good role models of femininity around them. What I look to provide them is a model of manhood that they can find reliable and a good guide for what they should be looking for in interactions with other males.

I am tremendously blessed to have three daughters who to varying degrees find it relatively easy to converse with me and for us to do life together. I appreciate there’s a lot about my girls I don’t know, especially at this stage of their development. As I mentioned in a previous response to the issue of being a father, I am by no means the perfect father – but over time I’m more assured that God trusts me to be the right father for these three daughters and part of that is the desire to be aware of my limits and my intentions when it comes to raising them.

Q – Since the Gentile Christian doesn’t have a body of national law, “secular” legislation, like the law of Moses which governs how Jewish courts and jurisprudence should occur, what law would a Christian gentile community use to govern itself? What would be the source of that law that a court would have to use?

I was having a conversation with my wife recently and I was mulling over how if you were from other religions/faiths your way of life would be directed by your holy text or teachings. Such would be the adherence to this text that it would have superiority over local or national legislation, however much that authority would want to suggest otherwise. There must be something about what’s perceived to be the Judaeo-Christian basis for law in societies like Britain and America that think that the basis for the law is assumed and implicitly Judaeo-Christian. While I don’t dispute certain historical references to the influence of Christianity in the forming of culture in this country, so much about life in Britain today from the legislative and judicial perspective follows a tack much more in keeping with the trends of the day than anything that could be referred to as Christian.

There’s something about that question that suggests that there is such a thing as a Christian gentile community. The closest there is to that is the church and what governs the church are the commands of Jesus Christ and as Paul outlines to the church in Corinth, there’s supposed to be an awareness of those commands that they’re able to resolve matters among themselves without recourse to the law courts outside that community. What God instructed to the nation of Israel as the basis for jurisprudence wouldn’t be applicable to Christians primarily because they’re not organised to be a nation in the same way.

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong in my understanding of the question, but I think this is essentially asking for what would the ground for Christian governance of society be from the judicial perspective. If I am correct in understanding this as your thinking then it’s not far away from what has been an ongoing exploration for me in terms of what life is like when God rules.

The idea, of course, from the Christian perspective is that we want the rule of God to be established on earth as it is in heaven. How that’s carried out in terms of the law that governs the Christian community is not dissimilar from what God outlined to the people of Israel. It’s founded on the exclusive worship of God through Jesus Christ. That worship and love for Him are based on faith in Him and the subsequent power He gives to be able to live as He created us to live. The power He gives us to live is His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit allows us not to fulfil the desires of the flesh which by nature are contrary to life in the Spirit. This underpins the respect for life intrinsic to God’s law. It also forms the basis for respecting God’s direction for marriage, the structure of the family based on honour and respect. It goes into fair and just relations with those beyond the family and the engagement with strangers that should reflect God’s character of compassion and mercy then where that is transgressed the exercise of due justice.

This is why Matthew 5-7 is so important in understanding the values on which the rule of God is expressed. It’s based on righteousness as God defines it. This goes into areas of murder, lust, adultery, divorce, treatment of enemies, religious rituals, the primacy of seeking the rule of God rather than serving alternatives, etc. The source of that law is the Word of God – written and living.

Those are some of the values that should influence and shape how any approach to law in a society that could be described as a Christian gentile community. After all, in a church setting, the saints are supposed to engage and interact with each other on the basis of how God reveals Himself in His Son, Jesus Christ and that has significant ramifications for fair, just and right relations between us. I hope that addresses your question sufficiently, David, but I don’t mind exploring the issue further both for clarity on your part if required as well as further fleshing out something that I don’t think is always explicitly built on in Christian circles.

Q – What football team do you support? And why do you support it? In terms of why, don’t just mention the merits of the team itself (and I mean “just” as in you can mention those merits), but the reason for supporting a football team at all.

I support Liverpool Football Club. That’s the easiest question I’ve ever had to answer in this series of conversations and with that, I thank you and bid you a good day!

Wait, what’s that? That’s not all there is to the question? There’s more to it than that? Oh. Oh OK then. Let me have a look and see what else you want to know … oh … ohhhhhh … ahhhh … maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick was that ‘easiest question’ line.

So, the question is a personal one in terms of why do I support a football team. I have not ‘forced’ my family to support a football team and two of my daughters have little to no interest in following the game to the point of actually supporting a team.

Why I support a team has a number of reasons for it. First, there was something about following the fashion of the day. The cultural norm was that if I were to get into football, it made sense to support a team because others did. There was also something in me that wanted to associate myself and belong to something beyond me, something that had worth and I grew to cultivate a value to the support of the team and following of the game. As I took more of an interest and investment in the club and the game, so I hardened my stance on supporting the team.

I say that and acknowledge that my idea of support was in the desire for the team to do well, the defence of my team to others in conversation, the attachment of emotions to the fortunes of the team. Back in the heavy-duty worship of the game, I’d happily spend money on football material – although having said that I didn’t bother that much with club memorabilia and merchandise.

It’s got to be established as well that I also supported Liverpool because they were the best team in the country at the time. It wasn’t because of any local loyalty – I didn’t live anywhere close to Liverpool. It wasn’t because of any family connection to the club – our parents could not have been more apathetic to the game. It just made sense to me to go with the best team in the country at the time especially as I was going into this game on my own.

So, there’s an element of following the convention and there’s a subsequent attachment through the investment of time, attention and relationship to it. I’m glad to say that the fortunes of the football club do not have that much effect on me when it’s doing poorly and my energies are prioritised in matters of far greater significance. Yet I enjoy the connections being a supporter offers and I don’t deny that when things are going well for Liverpool, there’s another reason to smile. I certainly prefer enjoying football as a supporter of a football club.

I acknowledge though that it’s not that important to do so. Just like it’s not that important to enjoy football in the larger scheme of things.

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True story, I have a friend who is a terrific chef and one of his awesome delicacies is homemade burgers. I tell you the truth that God loves, my brother, those burgers are among the best planet earth has had the privilege to bear witness to. I absolutely love them, David. Love them. They are succulent, they are meaty, they are substantial and they are the kind of edible experiences that leave you patting your tummy and offering thanks to God for such culinary blessings. I say all that to suggest that tucking into your questions are not far away from the experience of the burgers. I always find it a challenge in response to putting together questions that would be the springboard for you to dive into great areas. Nevertheless, dear brother, here are a few for your efforts:

Q – What is evil? Why does it exist? What’s the best way to counteract it?

Q – The concept of being British is an unhelpful myth that deludes people from taking responsibility for their local identity. Do you agree with this statement? As you give reasons for your answer, please also share your views on the role of national identity in the modern world.

Q – Respecting deeply your desire not to be listing five things in these conversations, what three songs would you recommend I listen to and why?

It’s a pleasure doing blogging business with you my brother and look forward to it continuing and prospering. Thanks for your time.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden