You can’t afford to be vulnerable.
If you are then someone sees that as weakness. Not only that others will see that as juicy morsels for gossip. Lots of speculation and analysis on the vulnerability which is not about building character and supporting growth – it’s purely for entertainment and often that smug sense of ‘at least I’m not that bad’ superiority.
You can’t afford for that to happen.
You know what they’re like. You know how they stay. You know they’ll never change. So you do what it takes to put on the armour – the whole armour of self-preservation. You chat, but you don’t say anything. You engage in the conversations with others to gain from them, but you give nothing of any real value. You know what to do to survive in that setting. Then after surviving, you can even pick up the tricks of the trade to give the impression that all is well. The bonhomie, the rapport, the laughter all that glossy stuff that also helps prevent dealing with what’s going on behind all of that.
You can’t afford to show any chink in the armour. You must be protected at all times.
While you maintain that effort, any hope of truly growing in deeper relationships and growing in knowing the beauty of life remains a distant dream. Sadly any glimpse of that calls for you to allow a breaking in the armour.
You can’t afford that.
For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden