“You what they’re like, right?”
They ask for a character reference to ensure they are getting someone of good standing. It’s one thing for the person to suggest they have the character, it is another thing to get that corroborated from a trustworthy source who can endorse the person.
If you were around when that person was growing up, you would come across a cast of other characters who could also contribute to the picture of that person. The regular appearance of this person means their mannerisms, personality and character would become something of a staple. This would mean that people would be able to say they had grown familiar with the person. If they were accused of something it could be refuted because that person wasn’t like that. Whereas if something else was attributed to the person, it would be readily believed. It was typical.
That familiarity could be assuring and it could also lead to someone being set in a particular way. It could be stifling and suffocating to be considered in a certain light. What made things worse is when there was time spent away and other character forming experiences would craft a significantly different person. When the person returns whether for a visit or to resettle, new aspects of the character can be somewhat unsettling for those who felt they knew the person. That sense of the new and the unsettling can be worked through with intentional commitment. In a lot of cases, though, that effort can be difficult and it’s easier to just for the familiar to fall back on.
When the character is new, though, comforting for others though it might be to go back to what’s expected, there is something about who you are that isn’t stuck in what was.
Often it is about what’s refreshingly new about you that be troubling to the old. You won’t be the first one and you won’t be the last. It’s all good though, it’s from the old you travel to the new.
Not to say there’s always something wrong with the old, it is to say that your past does not have to be your prison.
Even if the character references are good.
For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden