Breaking Down The Defences

It would be intriguing to find out how it happens.

As in we’re not born with those defences around us. We don’t emerge naturally defensive and closed. To all intents and purposes we’re fairly open at the start. For whatever reason though, some of which people perceive as sensible, we set these barriers up. We have the levels of engagement, most of us not going much beyond the surface.

Check even the most extrovert and dynamic appearing person. For all their bubbly and bouncy vibrant persona, they’re not that open in terms of what’s going on inside. Those who we’re told wear their heart on their sleeve and have a ‘what you see is what you get’ sort of approach maybe more open than you, but it doesn’t mean they are wide open and vulnerable. Even that chatty one doesn’t show you all the cards they’re holding.

Those defences are set up then and experiences can often reinforce them. Interestingly though, there are glimpses of what freedom and joy they get when they don’t need to have those defences in operation.

God grants us key relationships where we can practice that degree of engagement where the defences are down. It’s the key to genuine intimacy. The depth of the love of God is there to help us practice that in those key relationships as we commit to knowing each other better. That depth will be essential when we experience the disappointments that are inevitable in the best of close relationships.

It’s indeed that love in action that helps us break down the defences to enjoy the freedom to be in those key relationships. That in turn then helps engage healthily in other relationships. It helps to be wise, considerate and authentic whatever level we engage with someone.

There are those who are growing old and cold in the castle of solitude they have built up around them. They need not shrivel their souls in the prisons they have made. Those who are enriched by true, deep and powerful relationships of intimacy can help to break through those defences.

For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden

For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden


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