On sojoruning through dark times in my life, one of the things I came across rather heavily was the truth that I do not have the right.
A brief, half-hearted read of the apparent Sermon of the Mount sees Jesus not dishing out a bunch of rights for me to demand from others and from God but an incredible new way of living that requires me to live under Kingdom responsibilities. Submissive, sacrificial, serving the needs of others expressing and demonstrating what it is to be truly a child of God.
There is no mandate in that to impose anything on anyone. There is no call to outline a list of rules and regulations that others must live by or must abide by to engage with me appropriately. The Kingdom lifestyle in many ways seems to be somewhat different to a rights culture that promotes the pursuit of self-determination, self-expression and self-ambition for the glory of the self.
In those circumstances, it’s sad that I have the temerity and arrogant notion that society should abide by the commands of God. There is a prophetic responsibility to point to the life God calls us to live. There’s nothing to demand that it’s legislated. That means that if the society and culture I live in chooses to promote values that go against God I can do a lot of things in response, but I am not given a heavenly mandate to call for change because all people HAVE TO live under God’s rule. They don’t have to. Sin has explicitly placed us in a culture and framework that whatever nominal nods to righteousness is going against God’s rule.
That’s why there’s a cross, that’s why there’s a Kingdom, that’s why there is a returning King. That returning King won’t come through the General election or a Preseidential election. He won’t have a platform asking for people to vote Him in or ordering people to obey. His Kingdom when fully established will see His rule permeate all that is His – it won’t be forced, it will be a joyful expression of that which they delight to live by.
What that means is that I believe God calls for marriage to be between a man and a woman. If society, culture, the state, wishes to change that to suit the needs of prevailing values I won’t be shocked by such a thing, neither will I stop it. Because the state and culture have their positions on all of life and a lot of them contravene God’s plan. I don’t cry over it and look for legislation to change it. I see men and women of God living in community and showing the difference and inviting people to join that whilst publicly and unashamedly stating that this is what God invites all people to enjoy not out of rule-keeping but out of a grace-driven, compassion-led, heart-felt, mind-full response to the relationship proposed with the King Himself.
So I don’t have rights to demand, I have responsibilities to live out with that same servant attitude that marked Jesus out as being one who came to serve and not be served.
Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? (Proverbs 20:6)
I am only too aware of how easy it is to come across as though I’m all that. It’s easy to talk a good game. I am also aware that when it comes to relationships, people can be suckered into someone giving the vibes. Yet it is not the vibes that matter. To the single women desperate for relationship, pray hard for the faithful man. To the impressionable young men in need of mentors to show the way, pray hard for the faithful man. To all men – pray hard to be the faithful man.
Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done. (Proverbs 19:17)
There is no greater example of this attitude than in the life of Jesus who was known for his engagement with those considered to be poor, materially and socially. In fact for the King of Glory to take on the form of human flesh was itself an impoverishing experience to engage and experience what we did in order to share with us the riches on offer from God. Jesus Himself said that in as much as we are generous – not as a one off, but as a lifestyle – with the least – we are generous to Him.
A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before the great. (Proverbs 18:16)
The ability to give is not something to be underestimated. Some complain about having nothing to give, yet everyone has something to give. Maybe it’s time, attention, an ability to help someone in some way. It could be material or spiritual. The deal is to give it. The rewards for that giving can go beyond that initial gift. That can be a great thing, and as with the giving of such things as a bad attitude and misery, can also bring negative repercussions. The joy is to find what there is to give and give generously. For it is better …
I’m not saying this song is old, but if you gave birth to a child in the year this album was released she would be 25 years old today. Imagine that. Toddler years done, adolescence complete, perhaps even university years done and dusted. All in the space of time from when this song was released to this present moment. (And imagine how ancient that would make you in her eyes!)
Some things age badly over time. Some things maintain a vigour and freshness untainted by time and that is the example of this song. People can do complex and profoundly deep songs – and that’s cool. Yet some of the things that last tell the simplest stories – like this song. I needed love, I didn’t know I’d ever experience it, then Jesus came along and now I’m happy. Simple. Sweet.
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. (Proverbs 16:3)
When I was a boy, I was told there are only three times the Lord needs to know what you’re up to – before, during and after. As a boy figuring that out, it occurred that meant all the time! How often though is it the case that it’s right when things get sticky that I then remember that’s when I want God involved! Far better to remember for all the plans, from the unimportant to the crucial to involve Him to shape those plans even from the beginning (maybe even before that). That way success – as He sees it – is guaranteed.
A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! (Proverbs 15:23)
The host asks the question. You know the answer. You just want to tell the contestant, yet you watch as they give the wrong answer. How much more joy would it bring to see someone in distress or confusion and be able to give the right response. How much more joy would it bring to see someone who is ahead of themselves and be able to correct them in grace. It’s not the right answer to quiz questions that wins the prize of life – it’s the right response to life’s questions in relationships that can bring forth greater joy.
A man of quick temper acts foolishly, (Proverbs 14:17a)
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. (Proverbs 14:29)
The trick was to find a way to wind me up. Knowing me as well as she did she would easily coax me into her trap with a few choice gestures and suggestions and before I knew it I was upset and in as much as I could looking gain some revenge. Of course that wasn’t possible – she was my big sister and at the time she ruled either physically or eventually by mind games. She gave me a start though on realising what a fool I am when I quickly lose my temper.
What’s even worse is that the example of my dad was one of a man who could not be tricked into losing his temper. Everything he did was measured and timely, there was no rushing him, no goading him, he would just take his time and consider the next step to take. I don’t know if this was something he learnt by experience, what I do know was that his calm in situations was something I saw as a very attractive feature to have.
So from the later teenage years when I was no longer in the grip of my big sister until the fateful time I got married I was more or less holding my own. I took every effort not to let my temper slip and endeavoured to thoughtfully give a response to whatever situation was put to me. Don’t get me wrong, I made a lot of rash decisions in those interim years for which I’d pay at the time and later on. Yet in all that very rare could anyone accuse me of having a short temper. Of course on the side having learnt well from my sister I also sought to see what buttons could be pressed on others to incite their own temper tantrum … but that was for jokes, honest.
Of course, then I got married, but that’s another blog entry …
So we have the story of Dr. David Banner of television lore as inspired by the comics. Here’s a man who’s invested his life and passion in his quest to explore the reasons why in certain situations people are able to do that which would appear to be superhuman under extreme cases of stress of tension. His desperation to find something driven by his own tragedy of being unable to save his wife in a car accident.
His eagerness to find the solution leads to a fatal overdose of gamma and now whenever he he gets excitable or loses his temper the usually mild-mannered Dr. Banner grows to giant proportions and becomes the Incredible Hulk. Proving once and for all that within us all lurks a raging beast that when let loose can cause havoc and terrorise society. Of course there is the element of the Frankenstein story in it in as much as the Hulk actually is a misunderstood figure of rage that seeks to amend whatever wrong has been committed to his alter ego. This is not considered, though, and with the lack of controllable of the beast that rages within Dr. Banner must continue to search for a cure …
What the story has to do with the temper issue that the writer of Proverbs highlights magnificently is that in as much as tempers maybe ignited and incited by malevolent deeds, the instant burst of rage actually does inexorably more damage to the individual as well as others than any initial action. Chaos and other bad things are only likely to emerge if the temper is not kept in touch, yet how many of us know people (it’s always others, never ourselves) who just need the slightest trigger before they explode. When we consider temper as well, it’s not just the obvious angry outburst or action that’s temper in action, there is also just the thoughts and meditated actions to come that are equally dangerous albeit less obvious expressions of that temper problem.
So the advice of being slow to anger (repeated in James) sounds good, but how does that work under pressure and the habit of launching off at any given whim? Well I can suggest from witnessing the lives of those who appear to have a good grasp on this issue that experience is crucial as is focus. Each taunt and cajole is actually a gift from God given to see if you will accept it for what it is … after inspection. On the surface it appears negative and something to stir something in us. On close inspection and this is where the understanding comes in, if we literally look to take the time to see exactly what it is in the light of who God is, rather than taking matters into our own hands, then that slow to anger gig becomes possible. This is more a case of passing on the issue to higher authorities rather than looking to take matters into our own flawed hands. That’s where the gift emerges because what God offers us in the situation is more of His character of patience – seen as part of the fruit of His Spirit.
No, it’s not a cure-all remedy that everyone will leap to accept, but the choice with every incident is knowing whose it is – is it ours? Is every jibe and dig something aimed at my direction for my reaction? Or is it something that still falls under the Lordship of Jesus Christ? Is that something that belongs to me or God? Now if it belongs to me then I can do what I want though I’ll have to live with the consequences.
Whereas if I have a Father and a Big Brother who have been there and handled worse who will sort out the matter for me whilst also giving me some wise words for coping in the meantime, it kinda makes sense to go with this option. Even if that is considered cowardly, lacking in manliness. Better this option which leaves peace of mind, than enduring the rest of your life looking for the cure after the consequences of some foolish rash decisions.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20
The proverbs are so rich with truth and meaning that connects with real episodes that prove it to be true. In coming across this particular proverb is reminded me of the story of Jack.
He grew up in a Christian home, but didn’t really take the faith too seriously and by the time he hit the teens his mind was taken up with other concerns. He was a bit of a shy lad and wouldn’t be noticed by the major cliques of his school. That meant that he didn’t get into trouble too often, but it also meant that he felt rather isolated and felt the need to try and fit in whenever the opportunity arose.
Finally when he went to college to do his A-levels he saw that chance as a classmate named Tim asked him for help on some assignments. Before too long they found they had similar interests and Jack was accepted among Tim’s crew. Although he wasn’t fully integrated, his connection with Tim meant at least he was aware of what was going on and who with going with who in the crew. Whilst all this was happening there was no effort among the young people in the church which Jack attended to take him in and show their level of concern for this tricky stage of life. Rather they kept themselves to themselves and treated Jack as a necessary nuisance who just had to fit in with their ways.
Tim invited Jack over to his house for something to eat and play on some of his computer games. This was music to Jack’s ears, he’d never been invited to anyone’s house before and he grabbed the opportunity with both hands. On arriving at the house Jack noticed that Tim seemed to have more liberties than he did and appeared to be able to get more of his way when he wanted it. This already looked appealing to Jack who was bored with the strait-laced hypocrites at church and preferred the camaraderie with his new mates.
Jack enjoyed the first visit and got on well with Tim’s parents who thought he was a polite lad in comparison to the other crude mates that they were used to seeing around the place. Seeing the benefits all round, Tim invited Jack around more often. From the shared interest in computer games, Tim introduced Jack to the pleasures of drink, at first Jack didn’t take to it, but after a little while and with encouragement Jack eventually developed a taste for some of the spirits as well as mucking in with some bitters and lagers.
As Tim’s mates got to see Jack a lot less uptight and more relaxed in their company, they warmed to him and liked this side of Jack. He was there for all their parties and nights out on the town, Jack really let his hair down and relaxed a lot of the inhibitions his upbringing had saddled him with. Sadly though, there was no limit on what Jack thought was now acceptable and so from a reserved and cautious teen looking for companionship, he turned into a more open kind of guy up for a laugh and anything that his mates were doing, but never being satisfied with the friendships – they always appeared so shallow, so empty. Further in Jack delved in, thinking there was no way back to where he’d come from and no real desire, yet not enjoying this new place he was in.
It was one of Tim’s mates that noticed that Jack didn’t appear to happy and suggested taking something for it to help him relax further. Jack usually didn’t go for all that, but seeing as though his mates took it and it didn’t appear to do them any harm …
His decline continued throughout his twenties so that a young man who could have flowered and blossomed in the right company, instead muddled through a life of mediocrity. His was the routine of getting a steady job that no way challenged his intellectual capacities and only gave him superficial sense of any job satisfaction. The gnawing dissatisfaction sunk him deeper in his depression and then his parents got a call from the police about an accident with a fatality …
It’s a sad tale of the power of the company you keep that’s not against people per se. Tim isn’t a bad guy and his friends weren’t bad guys either, but as long as their desire wasn’t for righteousness, then they were always likely to take Jack down a path that wouldn’t end pretty. The real tragedy is actually about people like Jack who live on, feeling as though there’s no alternative to their lot, stuck in the quagmire of mediocrity thinking there’s no way back to what God might have offered and with a church that is out of touch in the ghetto mentality of their own rights, routines and rituals that do little of any meaning.
Righteousness is not about rules, but about a desire to please God in the heart, mind, mouth and hands. That leads to honest, transparent, vulnerable people willing to share life with others who are muddling through this world looking for the lead of God so as not to get stuck in miseries of materialism, career ladder traps, relationship disasters and a works-based morality where no matter what you it’s never good enough. Grace-motivated living with gratitude is the basis for righteousness that can see the Jacks of this world dying whether out in the world or sitting in the pews of church services going through the same rigmarole and routine without transformational change.
We live in a very image conscious age. The popularity of visual media that ever more focuses on the details that makes one appealing and attractive makes the appearance of even greater importance in the economy of life. This is not to suggest that presentation is not important. When God told Samuel that man looks on the outside but He looks at the heart, that was not just a criticism, that was an accurate analysis of our tendencies. When we say first impressions last, a lot of that is what is unsaid and seen rather than eloquence. Yet there is so much more to life than what we see that if this remains the measuring barometer for what is the quality life then people leave themselves open to deception, disappointment and despair. The root of that is highlighted in some more sweet popcorn proverbs we find in today’s chapter one is about what comes from our mouth and the other is what comes out of our lifestyle.
Truth to Tell
Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. (Pro 12:17, 19)
What we have in this larger issue is the challenge of image versus substance. When that which appears is different to that which is then there is a problem and this is no better seen than lying with the mouth. I know quite a bit about lying. There’s something about protecting the self and putting across a picture of something that makes me look food, even at the expense of others. Especially the so-called little white-lies. It won’t cause any harm, it makes me look better as a result. There are people who actually develop that as a way of life as a safety mechanism keeping unwanted intrusions and taking the focus of blame elsewhere.
The thing about lies is the damage it does to the health of relationships. That ominous question arises ‘How can I ever trust you’? There is no answer to that, because in essence trust can be so hard to build and is already on shaky ground if there is an element of deceit involved.
Truth can be awkward and inconvenient. Truth can lead us to vulnerability and acknowledging flaws that we would prefer to keep hidden. Yet the benefits of that truth on solid, reliable relationships is incalculable. Better to share an issue and a flaw so that it can be worked on together than just allow things to be stunted and stopped in the tracks because of the lies. That’s why truth lasts forever – it always remains, because the alternative has nothing to stand on and go by. That’s why it makes so much more sense to be truthful with the words we share. Even if it is not accepted or approved, it remains and those who value quality relationships will highly value that quality even as they conversely despise liars.
Truth to Live
Better to be lowly and have a servant than to play the great man and lack bread (Proverbs 12:9)
So it’s bad enough lying with the lips, it’s even worse lying as a lifestyle. The incredible debt culture of modern times is based on the lie that people can afford to live on credit to pursue a life that they just cannot afford. The great man in this proverb is not just applicable to those fraudsters and con-artists who try and pass for rich businessmen. This playing the great man act is pervasive in the keeping-up-with-the-Joneses mentality that leads to people stretching far beyond themselves to follow the latest fashion and not be considered behind the times.
This covetous lifestyle pursuit and subsequent show for the public becomes more painful when the truth emerges. It becomes even more painful when the lifestyle wilts away and the desperate conditions make themselves apparent leading to financial ruin and severely strained relationships. This comes from that chasing of the ideal image and the desire to look and be the part of that which is considered fashionable and successful. The material things, the pretence of grandeur and the fraud of the whole thing.
Paul would go onto encourage the church in Philippi that godly contentment allows you not to be bothered about whether you’re materially plenteous or lacking. The true contentment remains in knowing you are God’s and He is yours – that is worth more than any kind of show could ever afford. That’s why there would be content even if the estate appears lowly. Even if all the mod-cons are not at hand. These truths endure while the alternatives fade away and bring about the real joy that is not based on an act, but on the fact of loving God and finding that this is sufficient for life.
So truth to live and truth to tell are worth following with all that is available in the knowledge that this will last forever.
